I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
