He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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