You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
