Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
