It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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