The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
