My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
