How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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