There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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