nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
