Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
