Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
