After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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