so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
