The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
