As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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