I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
