we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
