Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
