is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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