dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
