is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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