the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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