I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
