Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
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