Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
