there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
