Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
