I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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