He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize