I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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