mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
