I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
