when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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