Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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