dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
