i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
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