I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
