At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
