operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
