grandma shit on top of the toilet
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
