i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
