I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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