he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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