so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
