It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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