Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
