I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
