I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
