If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
