Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
