Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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