u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My ass is underappreciated
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
