Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
