If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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