An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
