If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
