He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
