Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
