see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
