Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
