Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
