I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
