my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
