is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Oh god it's open bar.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
