I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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