Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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