I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
