So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
