i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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