i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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