I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
