i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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