I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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