i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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