Rock
Scissors
Fuck
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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